Last Few days - continuation

Diwali - festival of lights. This is one big festival in India. History date backs to god knows when. But still it is marked as the day when Lord Ram returned to his kingdom from 14 yrs of sentence to forest life ordered by his father on behest of his stepmother.
Sometimes I wonder is this the real reason for every single person who follows Hinduism to return to their hometowns. Or, is it just a myth, created by the our Aryan ancestors for a family get together in case the person is living far away from his home, to return and meet his family and friends, have a few light moments away from all the stress and the worries of working life or whatever he is involved in. Absolutely this would not be for the fugitives, but if it is like so then why not them, they are also human beings. I dont want to sound like a kind soul, but talking on terms of equality of rights, this should be the case.

As for me, this time I was not lucky enough to make it back to my hometown. Flights are not cheap, but who cares. Problem poses after reaching Delhi. The way from then on to my hometown , Farrukhabad, is absolutely clobbered. I dont get a damn transport. It seems like whole India is on move and everyone, whosoever, is running to be with his family at that particular day.

On 8th Nov, when the festival was being celebrated in Southern Part, I was sitting and sulking, had lot of thoughts on my mind. I had been to my friends place watched India-Pak 2nd ODI first half and then came back to my apartment. Sitting lonely, absolutely empty minded. My brain was not a devil's workshop. I was thinking, about the decisions I have made all my life and decisions my parents have made for me. My success rate was low, theirs was absolutely high. I can owe it to my inexperience with life. They have seen more in their years than I have in last 2 decades since I came to my senses and had knowledge of good and bad. I came to conclusion that I have become so dependent on their decisions that I have to look forward to them to approve my personal life decisions. Every thing I decide upon I have to keep their faces in mind and how wud they feel about me taking the step. Would they be happy, would they approve, would they be insightful, would they understand, would they let me go ahead, what if I just go ahead despite their disagreement.
I conveyed a few of these to my mother, over a phone conversation and the next day I could hear a concern in my father's voice. They say they want me to be happy, they want me to do what I want, to tell them without hesitation what's on my mind. I think they really mean it. But what is it that keeps me from telling them all my concerns, my thoughts. Will they also thing I am abnormal, I am different from the normal people as my colleagues from school, college, and university thought of me. If I am abnormal then why I am so, why I am so different? I am made of same blood and same soil as other people in this country are? I am also a small town boy with dreams in his eyes. Dream to make it big one day.
I talked to her regarding this, and I think phone is not the best way to talk to her, cause the way she listens and the thing I speak mix sometimes. But still I love her. I love her, because she has been good to me, never has she complained about me being abnormal or different, because she fell in love with that abnormality or difference. She wont understand the way the life is in India, but still she wants to be with me and leave everything behind. Perhaps she is my only chance.
The day went without any further events except that India lost the match.

9th Nov- Big day. Diwali is here, and as I got up in the morning I had no clue what I was going to do in the day. Pallav breaks the news, his parents are coming over. We went on a drive, then to airport, picked up his parents. His mom says I have become more like chinese. Nothing new, all my life I have always been commented on by people for my different looks. I dont know who should I thank that for, or curse. Girls think I am a NorthEasternite, they are not interested. People from NE part know I am not one of them, I loose my chance again. Moreover my huge stature helped me no more. Thats why I said in earlier part, she is my only chance to find love and be loved.
Evening was not eventful, usual Diwali prayers and blessings, a lil different from the way my parents do it. Interestingly the no. of households in India, the exact no. of ways one is gonna find the prayers being said. Only thing remains common is the Lord we are praying and the hymns we sing. Unity in diversity?????
She called me, wished me. I was touched. She knows, she cares. This small a thing she did, makes my heart leap towards her. I am desperatly looking forward to meet her again, and make that magic moment live again with her touch.
Later we burst some crackers, lit up some firework. Sometimes I wonder how can people buy the stuff and burn it to ground, just for the fun of few moments. Lighting up their money on unnecessary cause. Filthy display of ones weatlh or doing well. Assholes!!!!!!!
Pallav, Ajit and I went on a drive where Pallav later tells me he is going to meet Poison Ivy (PI).
Well PI used to be an ex-flame of Pallav and he had a hard time to get her off his back. Now if he dont wants her back in his life then why is he pushing too hard to please her, to solace her. I advised not to go ahead with the plan. Fortunately, he agreed. I have no personal grudges against her. She is a nice female. But my loyalty still remains toward Pallav. I would lie, pretend and do whatever to save his ass. But when he himself is willing to burn his hand, I can only advice. Some people are jerk, and that is what I can say about Pallav. They dont need enemies. They will be their best enemies. And then they would look forward to friends and family to salvage them. We came back had dinner.
Yesterday morning was a dull one. I got up late. Also I did not get a call from my favorite female on the planet. What to do about this? I dont have enough money. Neither does she. And we are quite a thousand kms apart now. There was a time when I wished for a few moments away. Now it has become a punishment for me. I get no information about her. Though I know in her heart she would be having same feeling. My beloved, I fall in love with you more and more, as everyday is passing without you being here by me side.
I was at home all day. I got a call from Tanya. She fainted on the festival day. Low BP is the problem she tells me. I am a lil surprised at why a girl like her could faint. She tells me had a history. That explains. But all the trouble that poor girl and her family had to go through on an auspicious day like that is not worthy. She sounds like a 8 yr old kid when she talks to me. Sometimes she feels like a very grown up woman. She flirts easily. She told me that she thought I was haughty and arrogant, and had to change her mind later. That happens with most of people who dont know me well or who refuse to come near to me because of my abnormal behavior or whatever. I have only a few words to say to them. It takes ages to judge a human being, you just cant dismiss me because I act differently.

I think this has got too long. So I better leave it here..